The Prophet Named Pat

Today was a weekend
And I've no shame to say,
We sat watching TV
But all of the day.

I sat there with Betty.
We sat there, lazy.
And I said, "How I wish
There was something on TV!"

No desire to go out,
Run around, or play ball.
So we sat and we stared,
Watching nothing at all.

So all we could do was to
Stare!
     Stare!
          Stare!
               Stare!
It's not that we liked it;
We just didn't care.

And then
The TV fizzed off!
How it fizzed off made us pissed off!

We looked!
He came in, the name "Pat" on his label!
We looked!
And we saw him!
The man was from Cable!
And he said,
"Missed a payment, now your TV's disabled"

"Your TV is gone
You're upset and upsetter.
But I have advice
And I bet that it's better."

"I know some good values to learn,"
So said Pat.
When suddenly I made
A note of his hat.
I said, "I know you,
I've seen you before.
That hat's from a book
By Dr.—" "No more!"

He quieted me up
With much discontent,
Perhaps to avoid
Copyright infringement.

"Okay, you're so smart."
"I'm a guru," said he.
"The knowledge I have
Will be helpful to thee.”

"Then tell me," I said,
"Of sorrow and joy."
"Elementary," said Pat.
"It's quite simple, my boy.
That which makes you sad,
At one point, made you grin.
And what makes you happy
Once left frowns on your chin.

Much like the Cat,
Who had once brought them grief,
Before he was gone
Ensured their relief."

Impressive, I thought.
He's good at this task.
"Can you tell us of houses?"
Betty then asked.

Pat threw back his head
And let out a laugh.
"Listen," he said.
"It is for your behalf.
This area's clustered.
Ancestors, out of fear,
Instead of spreading out,
They tried to stay near.
Unlike the boy and girl
With Things Two and One.
They left their own comfort zone
So they could have fun."

This Pat guy made sense
And I did agree with 'em
Though I did find it odd
How he rhymed with such rhythm.

Ignoring the fact
That we'd fallen into rhyme
I asked if he'd lecture
On punishment and crime.

"Not totally at fault
Are those criminalized."
Said Pat, "Sometimes victims
Play a part in their demise.
The boy and the girl
Would have punishments great
If their mom saw the house
In its slovenly state."

I cried, "They did nothing,
Neither boy nor the girl."
Pat sighed and he shrugged,
"That's the way of the world."
I wished to hear more,
But I'd need not to plead him.
I inquired to Pat,
"Will you speak now of freedom?"

"Freedom," said Pat,
"Is a dream one should smother.
For once you are 'free',
You'll be bound by another.
Like Things One and Two
Whose fun was called tame.
But look at the hell
That they rose with their game.
When the Things were gone,
The children were stressed.
They were free of the Things,
But bound by their mess."

Intrigued, Betty asked,
"For our wisdom and health,
Give us your knowledge
On the knowledge of self."

“The self,” said Pat,
“Is an ocean without bound.
In these deep waters,
Great knowledge is found.
The mischievous cat
Had self-knowledge because,
Through his antics and games,
He knew well who he was.”

And I spoke again,
“One more tale, if you would.
Speak about evil
And then, speak of good.”

Pat spoke:
“What I know of good shall be said.
For what more is evil
Than good left unfed?
If you are good,
In your goodness, do revel.
But if you are not,
Don’t think you’re the devil.
Goodness is something
We all can achieve.
The Cat was good to clean up
After seeming naïve.”

Our fish interrupted,
“The time has grown nigh!”
Pat, dumbfounded, said
“I guess this is good-bye.”
And so he departed
The Cable guy, Pat,
Who bid us farewell
With a tip of his hat.

Mom entered and asked.
“Anything happen while I was gone?”
I smiled and said, “Nothing,”
As Betty turned the TV back on.